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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

I Wanna Watch

Hits: 7015

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.

The Doctor Has News For You!

Hits: 2622

Guy goes to his doctor for a checkup. After, they sit down in a private office to discuss the results. The doc starts with: "I have good news and I have bad news."

The guy says: "Give me the bad news doc." The doctor replies: "You've got cancer!"

The guy is shocked, but quickly asks: "So what's the good news?"

The doctor looks him in the eye and tells him: "I'm fucking the receptionist."

Not So Bon Vivant

Hits: 3436

What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?

Slow.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Good Thing He Had His Eyes Open

A guy is having dinner with his girlfriend at a restaurant when he suddenly gets down on one knee.

His surprised girlfriend begins to say: "This is so sudden..." When the guy interrupts: "Shhh... my wife just walked in!"

Not Quite What You Think Johnny

The teacher says, "Okay, class, we're going to play a game today. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it."

Claude says, "Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won't give us any homework." The teacher says, "Very good, Claude."

Mary says, "The sky is very dark... perhaps it's going to rain." The teacher says, "Very good, Mary."

She calls on Little Johnny in the back. "John?"

Little Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got home from school, my sister and her music teacher both had their pants down to their ankles. Perhaps they were gonna shit on the piano."

Smells Like A Good Time

What's the difference between pussy & pot?

If you can smell pot from across the room it's the good stuff.