What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?
Slow.
Why was the blonde's belly button red and hurting after sex?
Her boyfriend was also blonde.
I told my wife our credit cards were stolen, but I'm not reporting it.
She asked why not?
"Cause the thief spends less than you do."
And that's when the fight started...
When do you know you've been married too long?
The only reason you go down on it is because it doesn't talk back.
