What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?
Slow.
What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A wet nose.
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I told him, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!"
Then I unplugged his life support.
My wife and I were discussing the current state of NASA and the space program. She asked: "Why do you think they never sent a woman to the moon?"
I told her: "'Cause it doesn't need cleaning."
And that's when the fight started...