What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.
Why did God create Adam before he created Eve?
Because He didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Why is a pussy like the weather?
Because once it's wet, you know it's time to go inside.
My wife suggested: "Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!"
So I told her: "Sure... but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on."
And that's when the fight started...
