Man is incomplete until he’s married.
Then he’s finished.
How do Cinderella and Pinnochio make love?
She sits on his face and he tells lies.
Girl texts: "If you're sleeping, send your dreams ... if you're laughing, send your smile."
Boyfriend texts back: "Taking a shit... Please advise."
What's a necrophiliac's biggest complaint about sex?
She just kinda lays there.
