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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

She Loves That Puppet

Hits: 3131

How do Cinderella and Pinnochio make love?

She sits on his face and he tells lies.

In The Confessional

Hits: 2760

"Forgive me, Father, I was fucking my wife and fantasized she was a nun."

"My son, sometimes when I fuck a nun I fantasize it's your wife."

Vegetable Logic

Hits: 3181

How's broccoli like anal sex?

If it was forced on you as a kid, you probably won't enjoy it as an adult.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Dad Knows The Score

When I was 16, my dad sat me down and said, "Dick, someday you're gonna meet a girl who's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle about the price."

What Are You Wearing?

I needed hearing aids, so I asked my doc for the latest technology. You know... the ones that connect directly to the 900 chat lines so I can listen "hands-free"... if you know what I mean.

Not For Instagram

Why'd the guy text his wife a picture of his limp dick?

Wanted to let her know he was thinking about her.