Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

How do Cinderella and Pinnochio make love?

She sits on his face and he tells lies.

"Forgive me, Father, I was fucking my wife and fantasized she was a nun."

"My son, sometimes when I fuck a nun I fantasize it's your wife."

How's broccoli like anal sex?

If it was forced on you as a kid, you probably won't enjoy it as an adult.

Page 167 of 180

What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seat belt.

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said "Santa, will you stay with me?"

Santa replied, "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."

So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

"Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."

She takes off everything and says "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my d*ck this way!"

Just booked a table for me and the wife for Valentine's Day.

Hope the bitch knows how to play snooker.

She Loves That Puppet