Why is Santa Claus always so happy?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live
I quit my job at the helium gas factory.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
My dick is so big, it graduated High School a year ahead of me.
Last night I smiled at my wife and asked: "Honey, will you do something with your mouth that all men love?" She smiled back coyly and said: "And what is that, darling?"
I said: "Close it!"
And that's when the fight started...
