Why is Santa Claus always so happy?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live
What do a wife & a condom have in common?
They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.
What did Eve wear? A fig leaf.
OK... So what did Adam wear?
A hole in Eve's fig leaf.
My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.
She's twenty-five... her name's Beverly.
