Why is Santa Claus always so happy?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live
Why is psychoanalysis faster for men than women?
When he has to go back to his childhood he's already there.
Two blondes are talking geography. The first one asks: "Which do you think is further away, Florida or the moon?"
Her pal replies: "Hellooo, can you see Florida from here?"
If a guy opens the car door for his wife you can be sure of 1 thing: either the car is new or the wife is.