Why is Santa Claus always so happy?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live
A guy wanted to have sex with his wife. So he gave her a wink and popped a Viagra.
His wife looked at him and said: "You know why Viagra is just like Disneyland? They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride!"
And that's when the fight started...
Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.
"Waiting for me to get home."
My wife and I were discussing the news. I said: "What's the big deal about same-sex marriage?"
She said: "You're right. We've been married for years, and we keep having the same lousy sex."
