Why is Santa Claus always so happy?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live
What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?
A tearjerker.
Peace comes at a price. If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, there would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.
It was our anniversary and I was reminiscing with my wife. She asked if I could remember way back when.
I told her: "You know honey, I can remember where we got married and I can remember when we got married... I just can’t remember why."
And that's when the fight started.
