Why's a sheep better than a woman?
A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?
Your last blow job.
My wife was concerned that we weren't managing the household well in tough financial times. So she asked me to take some action and plan for the future.
No problem I told her. I ran out and came home with 2 cases of beer instead of one.
And that's when the fight started...
Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."
Mom: "Did someone harass you?"
"Finally!"
