Why's a sheep better than a woman?
A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Why is Santa Claus always so happy?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live
How are nail polish and panties the same?
They both come off with a little alcohol.
Cop: "Are you a natural blonde?" Blonde: "Yeah."
Tosses his ticket book, starts pulling down his zipper
Blonde: "Oh, no, not another Breathalyzer test."