Women Are Emotional

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.

So I told her I got a girlfriend.

And that's when the fight started...

Two little old ladies were at the slots in Atlantic City. One asks: "So... did you come on the bus?"

Her friend replied: "Yeah, but I made it look like an asthma attack."

What does a woman's asshole do when she has an orgasm?

He's probably home watching football or something.

Why'd the guy marry the Siamese twin?

So he could fuck his wife and have a girlfriend on the side.