Women Are Emotional

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.

So I told her I got a girlfriend.

And that's when the fight started...

"Forgive me, Father, I was fucking my wife and fantasized she was a nun."

"My son, sometimes when I fuck a nun I fantasize it's your wife."

Why can't blondes parallel park? 'Cause guys keep telling them that 4 inches is really 8 inches.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...