What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
A woman.
What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
Liquor in the front and poker in the rear!
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.
My girlfriend's a real clean freak. She says it's disgusting to piss in the bathtub.
Next time maybe I should wait until she gets out.
