What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
A woman.
Old guy calls a plumber. "There's a leak over my kitchen table."
The plumber asks him "When did you first notice it?"
"After it took me two hours to finish my soup last night."
Why'd the bride slide down the bannister on her honeymoon?
To warm up her husband's dinner.
What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?
Your last blow job.
