What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
A woman.
One night I came home a little late and very drunk. There was my wife standing there holding a broom
Thinking fast (maybe too fast) I said: "Are you still cleaning or are you going for a ride?"
And that's when the fight started...
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. You already told her twice.
My wife and I were basking in the afterglow of having sex when she asked: "Honey, why did God create orgasms?"
I said: "So women can moan even when they’re happy."