What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
A woman.
What do you get when you cross a computer with a prostitute?
A fucking know-it-all.
A guy at the bar orders two drinks. He downs one, then pours the other on his left hand.
The bartender asks: "Hey mister... what're you doin'?" "
"Getting my date drunk."
What's it called when a WWE wrestler ties his opponent's dick in a knot?
A Willie Nelson.
