How Long Has That Condom Been In Your Wallet?

What do a wife & a condom have in common?

They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy what do you get?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Before I left for work my wife told me she wasn't feeling well. I told her: "Don't worry honey, you're not really sick."

She asked: "How do you know?"

I told her: "Because I didn't have to carry you downstairs to make my breakfast."

And that's when the fight started.

I'm laying back after screwing my wife & she whispers: "Honey, I think I'll call you the bus?"

I asked why and she said, "Because you always stop before I get off!"

And that's when the fight started...