How Long Has That Condom Been In Your Wallet?

What do a wife & a condom have in common?

They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Why do blondes like to drive cars with a sunroof?

More leg room.

Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

The other night I was having sex with my wife when my cell phone rang. I answered it and said: "Can I call you back? I'm in the tub."

And that's when the fight started...