Why do you get paid more at The Sperm Bank than at The Blood Bank?
Sperm is handmade.
Why is a woman like the lunch special at Kentucky Fried Chicken?
By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Hallmark Card fail:
"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."
My wife was complaining I fart too much, so she ripped a big one right back at me. I asked her, "Honey, you never did that when we were dating. How come?"
She said, "'Cause I didn't get an asshole till we were married."
And that's when the fight started...
