How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?
Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.
What... you didn't see that coming?
I saw my wife bought one of those new Wonder Bras.
Goofing around I told her: "You know why they call it the Wonder Bra? When you take it off you wonder where your tits went."
And that's when the fight started...
