How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.
If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?
Why doesn't Santa have any children?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
My wife stripped naked last night and stood on her head. I asked: "What the hell are you doing?"
She said: "Well... if you can't get it up again tonight, I thought maybe you could just drop it in!"
And that's when the fight started...
