How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
It was our anniversary and I was reminiscing with my wife. She asked if I could remember way back when.
I told her: "You know honey, I can remember where we got married and I can remember when we got married... I just can’t remember why."
And that's when the fight started.
My wife was fishing for a compliment. So she asked me: "So, do you think you married Miss Right."
I said: "Yeah, I just didn't know your first name was 'Always.'"
And that's when the fight started...
What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?
Slow.
