When her car conks out the old lady pushes it into a gas station. Soon the mechanic has it purring like a kitten. The old gal asks: "What's up?" He tells her: "Crap in the carburetor." She says: "How often do I have to do that?"
My wife bought one of those do-it-yourself waxing kits. Really wanting to please me, she asked with a wink: "Should I do the sides and leave a little strip down the middle?"
I told her: "I'd prefer you have no moustache at all."
