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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

This Is What I Call It

Hits: 2735

If nuts on a wall are walnuts and nuts on a chest are chestnuts, what are nuts on a chin?

A blowjob.

The King and The Queen

Hits: 2787

My dick is so smart it was Valedictorian of my senior class. My prom date was voted most likely to succeed. Say it slowly... you'll get it.

Ruled By A Dictator

Hits: 2398

My dick's so big it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Please Don't Disturb The Peace

A guy goes in to see an optometrist.

The doctor says, "You have to stop masturbating."

The guy says, "Why? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

Over Her Dead Body

How can you tell if your wife's dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Do What Mama Told You

Guy's making out with his girlfriend. Things start to get hot and heavy so he puts his hand under her skirt.

His girlfriend tells him: "You can't do that. My mother made me promise never to let a man put his hand under my skirt. But if you put your hand down my back, it'll be the second hole you come to."