Good advice from old Dick Johnson: You gotta stick it out if your're gonna start young!
What's six inches long, two inches wide and drives every woman wild?
A hundred dollar bill!
A college kid is fucking an old lady. She says, "It may be Winter on top, but it's Summer in the furnace."
He says, "Yeah? Well, if you don't put a little Spring in your ass, we're gonna be here till Fall."
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A Mechanic.