Definition of love: Your heart melts and comes squirting out the end of your dick.
What is the definition of confidence?
When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You're next Baby... !"
In college I wanted to join the debating team.
But somebody talked me out of it.
A wife went to see a therapist. "I've got a big problem. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely normal. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
