Definition of love: Your heart melts and comes squirting out the end of your dick.
A brunette tells her blonde sister "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."
The blonde sister replies "I thought I was the slut! How many is a Brazilian?"
My wife kinda had second thoughts about the first sex video I had talked her into making, so she said she wanted it back.
I said, "OK, but you'll have to pay twenty bucks, just like everybody else."
And that's when the fight started...
My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second and third.
