Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

: Created: 22 July 2017; Hits: 1918

What do you say to a women with small tits?

Nothing!

: Created: 20 July 2017; Hits: 2426

What do you call a guy with a small dick?

Justin!

What do you call a guy with a giant dick?

Phil!

: Created: 15 July 2017; Hits: 1871

One day the boss calls in the vice-president. "We're downsizing. We have to lay off either Jack or Barbara."

The VP tells him, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I'm not sure what to do."

The next morning the VP is waiting and Barbara is the first to arrive. He tells her, "Barbara, I've got a problem. I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?"

Barbara quickly responds, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Sexting

I woke up this morning with a text that seemed to have been sent to me by accident. It read,

"Hi... be home soon. Love ya, Dave xxx"

Being Valentine's Day I thought I'd have a bit of fun so I texted the guy back:

"Don't bother, I don't love you. You're a son of a bitch and I've been banging your brother."

I couldn't wait for the reply, then it came:

"You OK mom?"

On The Rag, Vampire Style

What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?

See you next period.

Might As Well Take In A Round

We were at the couples pregnancy preparation class. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe & was telling the men how to give the necessary support to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just make several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

Then she turned to the men in the room, "Gentlemen, remember, you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her." The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Wanting to get into the swing of things I quickly raised my hand and asked the instructor, "Would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk ?"

And that's when the fight started...