How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
Even the pool table has no balls.
My wife was complaining I fart too much, so she ripped a big one right back at me. I asked her, "Honey, you never did that when we were dating. How come?"
She said, "'Cause I didn't get an asshole till we were married."
And that's when the fight started...
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.
I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69.
She said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
