Go Both Ways

Old Dick is ambidextrous. Yep! I can swing a bat from both sides of the plate, & jerk off with both hands.

I love dating manicurists and hair stylists.

One does hand jobs, the other does blow jobs!

Dear Santa,

I've been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Well, more like once in a while...

Oh f*ck it I'll buy my own shit!

- Billy

Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?

They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.