Go Both Ways

Old Dick is ambidextrous. Yep! I can swing a bat from both sides of the plate, & jerk off with both hands.

Bad things come in three's. Always in three's.

The other day I was screwing my girlfriend while her husband was on a business trip. First she said three words: "Is it in?"

Then she followed that with: "Are you done?"

And finally I heard the front door open and a man's voice shout out: "Honey, I'm home!"

How are women like hardwood floors?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?

Your mother can't take a joke.