What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use some lubricant.
Grandpa always told me don’t watch your money watch your health. So one day, while I'm watching my health, someone stole my money.
It was grandpa.
A female officer arrests a drunk. As she puts the cuffs on him she warns: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."
Before she can finish the drunk shouts out: "Boobs"
Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?
Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.