What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use some lubricant.
My wife and I were talking about what turns men and women on. I asked her: "Why do you think men like big tits and a tight ass?"
She said: "In your case because you’ve got a big mouth and a small dick."
And that's when the fight started...
What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise?
The captain's log.
Old Dick is ambidextrous. Yep! I can swing a bat from both sides of the plate, & jerk off with both hands.