Staying Hard

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?

He changed his mind. Decided to stick it out for one more year!

Why do men name their dicks?

They don't want ninety-five per cent of their decisions made by a total stranger.

I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."

Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"

"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."

What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?

A liar.