Staying Hard

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?

He changed his mind. Decided to stick it out for one more year!

What did one tampon say to the other?

Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.

I know that newspapers are losing out to the Internet, but think about it... how many newspapers can a woman hold between her legs?

Easy! One Post, two Globes, and many Times. And I wouldn't mind a morning and an evening edition. Yeah... I like a woman who's into the hard news.

OK... I'm done.

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.