Are Those Brand New Hardwood Floors?

: Created: 23 January 2016; Hits: 2146

How are women like hardwood floors?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

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Either Way It Works

A nun came to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear confession. "Today Father Johnson told me I had the gates of Heaven between my legs, and that he had the Key to Heaven. Then he opened my gates with his key."

"That bastard!" said Mother Superior. "He told me it was Gabriel's trumpet, and I've been blowing it."

Nude In Front Of The Mirror

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

Female Erection

What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?

A lesbian with a hard-on.