What does a virgin and a balloon have in common?
One prick and it's all over.
What can a goose do, a duck can't, and your lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
You know why you should never drink diet soda during oral sex?
Because that way you'll have two after-tastes to get rid of.
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
