Stir Fry And Panties

How's a frying pan hanging on the wall like a woman's panties?

You have to get them down before you can put the meat in.

A guy asks his grandma, "Have you seen some pills around here? They are labeled LSD?"

His grandma replies, "Fuck your pills, there's a dragon in the kitchen!"

My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.

I'm not some kind of stud.

I'm a lazy bastard postman.

Why are roach clips called roach clips?

Because "pot holder" was already taken.