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Best Chance For A Full Recovery

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Surgeons prefer operating on politicians.

No guts, heart or spine & the mouth & asshole are interchangeable.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

A 100-year-old man enters a Catholic confessional and admits "Father, last night I had sex with a couple of 18-year-old girls and it lasted for hours."

The priest sternly replies "That is a sin, I'm going to give you a penance."

The old man laughs "That won't be necessary father, I'm Jewish."

The father, confused, asks "Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm telling everyone!"

Probably a Bad Practice

Dr. Dave slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while, he'd hear an internal voice that said, "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go."

But invariably, the another voice would bring him back to reality. "But Dave, you're a vet."

 

In-Laws Can Be The Worst

A young couple were driving down country road in total silence, having had a little disagreement at their last stop. As they passed a barnyard full of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?"

"Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."

And that's when the fight started...