Little Johnny in the bathtub points at his dick: "Mommy, is my brain in there?"
"Not yet, sweetie."
What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
Forty-five pounds.
What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight?
A power failure.
I spent 5 thousand bucks on a boob job for the wife and she was thrilled. So I go another 2 grand on her nose job and she's ecstatic.
But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job and she goes ballistic. Fucking women.
