Little Johnny in the bathtub points at his dick: "Mommy, is my brain in there?"
"Not yet, sweetie."
How do Cinderella and Pinnochio make love?
She sits on his face and he tells lies.
My wife asked me to guess what she wanted for her birthday.
So I said: "Your face from 10 years ago?"
And that's when the fight started...
My wife was fishing for a compliment. So she asked me: "So, do you think you married Miss Right."
I said: "Yeah, I just didn't know your first name was 'Always.'"