A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Finally Met My Dream Girl

Hits: 2491

What do you call a woman who can suck a lemon through a 40-foot garden hose.

Darling.

Show Your Support

Hits: 2380

Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?

No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.

I Know Her By Reputation

Hits: 2443

How do you know who gives a good blow job?

Word of mouth.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Is It Because I'm Blonde?

A blonde girl comes home from school one day and tells her mom: "We were learning our numbers today and everyone else could only count to 5, but I could count to 10. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

Her mom tells her "Great job honey!" The girl asks her mom "Is it because I'm blonde?" Her mom tells her: "Yes it is."

The next day the blonde girl comes home from school and tells her mom: "We were learning our alphabets today and everyone else could only get to E, but I got to J. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J!"

Her mom tells her "Great job honey!" The girl asks her mom "Is it because I'm blonde?" Her mom tells her again: "Yes it is."

On the third day the blonde girl comes home from school and tells her mom: "Today we were in the showers after gym class and all of the other girls were flat chested, but I have these!" Whereupon the girl lifts her shirt revealing very large breasts.

Her mom tells her "Um... Great job honey." The girl asks her mom: "Is it because I'm blonde?"

Her mom replies "No dear, it's because you're 25."

No Guarantees in the After Life

My wife and I were having a discussion about heaven. I told her she shouldn't worry 'cause she'll never get there. She asked: "How can you say that?"

I told her: "Because dragons never fly above 8,000 feet."

And that's when the fight started...

A Simple Request

Last night I smiled at my wife and asked: "Honey, will you do something with your mouth that all men love?" She smiled back coyly and said: "And what is that, darling?"

I said: "Close it!"

And that's when the fight started...