Dick Jokes
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A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After takeoff the stewardess came to take the drink orders. The Irishman asked for a whiskey. When she asked the Mormon if he'd like a drink he replied in disgust, "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman grabs the stewardess by the arm and says, "Instead of the whiskey, can I have what he's having. I didn't know I had a choice!"
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Two drunks are about to leave the bar at closing time when one says: "Man I hate getting home at this hour. All I want to do is crawl into bed and crash. But the old lady is waitin' up and won't stop raggin' on me for stayin' out late and comin' home drunk."
His friend tells him: "I found the perfect solution. Instead of tryin' to sneak in I slam the front door and scream out 'Wake up honey I wanna fuck!' When I do that she always pretends to be asleep!"
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A lady walked into a pharmacy and asked: "Do you have Viagra?" The pharmacist answered: "Sure." She then asked: "Does it work?" and his reply was: "Definitely!"
Finally whe wanted to know: "Can you get it over the counter?" and he told her "I can if I take two!"