An old man was in the red light district and approached a cute little prostitute working the corner. He asked: "How's about some action?" The girl looked him up and down and said: "Old man, I think you've had it!"
To which the old guy replied: "OK... how much do I owe you."
I'm feeling a bit more mature these days so I wasn't embarrassed walking into the drug store to buy condoms. That is, until the woman behind the counter advised me, 'Save your money -- buy a lottery ticket.'