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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Bon Voyage

Hits: 3760

Johnson is standing on the train platform when the guy next to him waves and yells" "Goodbye! Your wife's a great fuck!"

Johnson is shocked and asks the guy: "Who were you yelling to?" The guy tells Johsnon: "That's my brother." "Wow" Johnson tells him, "That's incedibly insensitive!"

The guy says: "Actually I'm very sensitive. My brother's wife is a lousy fuck. I didn't want to hurt his feelings."

They're All Doin' It

Hits: 3266

Two rednecks are out fishing. The first one asks: "If I go to your house and fuck your wife and get her pregnant and she has a kid, would that make us kinfolk?"

The friend says: "Nope. That'd make us about even."

Relationship Expert

Hits: 2922

What's a platonic relationship?

That's a friendship between a girl and a guy who wants to fuck her. 

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

That's One Way to Get Nothing Done

Put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together... what do you have?

100 people who don't do dick.

No, Not That!

What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seat belt.

Strange Sexual Positions

A couple went to a sex therapist to try and improve their sex live. After hearing the couple's complaints, the therapist suggested they experiment a little more. "For example," he suggested, "You might try different positions, like the wheelbarrow. You lift her legs, penetrate, and off you go."

The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home.

"Well, OK," the hesitant wife agreed, "But on two conditions. First if it hurts, you'll stop right away, and second," she insisted, "You must promise we won't go past my mother's."