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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Bring Out The Tape Measure

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Why are dicks like fish?

You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.

Let Me Introduce You To

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What did one whore's knee say to the other?

Nothing... they never met.

Not The Best Choice

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Why do men name their dicks?

They don't want ninety-five per cent of their decisions made by a total stranger.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Home Cookin'

My wife asked: "How was dinner?"

I told her: "It was fit for a king! Here King.... here boy..."

And that's when the fight started...

Three's A Crowd

Bad things come in three's. Always in three's.

The other day I was screwing my girlfriend while her husband was on a business trip. First she said three words: "Is it in?"

Then she followed that with: "Are you done?"

And finally I heard the front door open and a man's voice shout out: "Honey, I'm home!"

Thanksgiving Day Football

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"