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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Bring Out The Tape Measure

Hits: 2400

Why are dicks like fish?

You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.

Let Me Introduce You To

Hits: 2344

What did one whore's knee say to the other?

Nothing... they never met.

Not The Best Choice

Hits: 2213

Why do men name their dicks?

They don't want ninety-five per cent of their decisions made by a total stranger.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

We Don't Sell To Your Type

A blonde walks up to a salesman and says, "I want to buy this TV."

He says, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

She goes for a complete make-over...she gets a haircut and new hair color, a new outfit, and puts on big sunglasses. She waits a few days and then she walks up to the salesman and says, "I want to buy this TV."

He says, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

She says., "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

He says, "Because that's a microwave."

 

Everybody's Hiring These Days

This cute gal is on the psychiatrist's couch. She says, "Doc... you gotta help me. I have this uncontrollable urge to fuck all of my employers."

The psychiatrist says, "Hmm .. I see... ever work as a receptionist?"

All Sinners Must Come And Confess

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.