Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?
No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.
Why did Santa get arrested?
He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!
What do pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
My wife wanted to be a little playful, so she whispered: "Say dirty things to me!"
So I said: "Bathroom, kitchen, living room..."
And that's when the fight started...