Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?
No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.
Guy walks into a bar with a big bruise in the middle of his forehead. The bartender asks: "What happened?"
The guy tells him: "I was fucking my wife doggy style and she ran under the house."
My girlfriend caught me drying my dick with the hair dryer. She asked: "What are you doing?"
Apparently "Heating up your dinner." wasn't the right answer.
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.