Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?
No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.
This cute gal is on the psychiatrist's couch. She says, "Doc... you gotta help me. I have this uncontrollable urge to fuck all of my employers."
The psychiatrist says, "Hmm .. I see... ever work as a receptionist?"
Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
An ironing board's legs are hard to open.
Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin........and tonic. Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"