Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?
No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.
Two gals were shopping at the supermarket. The first one grabs a good sized potato in each hand and says, "These remind me of my husband's balls."
Her friend looked impressed and replied, "That big, huh?"
"Nope," was the response, "That dirty."
My wife asked me: "Why do you go out on the balcony every time I start to sing?"
I told her: "I don't want the neighbors to think I'm beating you."
And that's when the fight started...
My wife tried to goad me, "Our next door neighbor tells me her husband can make love to her 3X a day. Why can't you do that?"
I told her, "Because she always says, 'No, we might get caught.' "