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Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?

No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.

This cute gal is on the psychiatrist's couch. She says, "Doc... you gotta help me. I have this uncontrollable urge to fuck all of my employers."

The psychiatrist says, "Hmm .. I see... ever work as a receptionist?"

Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

An ironing board's legs are hard to open.

Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin...
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and tonic.

Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"