What do you call a woman who can suck a lemon through a 40-foot garden hose.
Darling.
Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest & a pilot are in a plane that's about to crash.
The pilot says: "Well, we only have three parachutes, let's give them to the three Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them."
The lawyer says: "Fuck the Boy Scouts!"
The priest says: "Do we have time?"
"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"
"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."
My wife was about to start her morning nag when I shot out: "You know our marriage is like a three-ring circus..."
And before she could comment I told her why: "First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering!"
And that's when the fight started...
