What do you call a woman who can suck a lemon through a 40-foot garden hose.
Darling.
The difference between buying a lottery ticket and fighting with your wife?
You have a chance at winning the lottery.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
A doctor examining a little old man tells him, "You're suffering from exhaustion. How often do you have sex?"
The old guy says, "Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."
The doc says, "Well, that could be the problem. Maybe you should try eliminating Wednesdays."
The old guy replies, "I can't, Doc. That's the only night I go home."
