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WTF?!

WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

Man arrested after allegedly touching orangutan at Fresno Chaffee Zoo

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#WTF?! A 24-year-old man was arrested for allegedly scaling a five-foot barrier at Fresno Chaffee Zoo to touch an orangutan.

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Texas Woman Finds Cocaine In Granola Bar

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#WTF?! Police are investigating how a packet of cocaine ended up inside a Nature Valley granola bar. We'd like to know too... and also the location of the store where she bought it! So we can do some shopping next we're in San Antonio.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

I Like Big Butts...

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.

I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.

And that's when the fight started...

Who Took My Pen!

A nurse walks in and says, "Doc, what are you doing?"

He says, "I'm writing a prescription."

She says, "But you're holding your thermometer."

He says, "Jesus Christ, some asshole has my pen."

The New Pet

A guy is just miserable.  So he decides to cheer himself up and get a pet. At the pet store the owner takes him in to the back and shows him a toothless hamster.

The guy looks at it and says: "That's the ugliest thing I ever saw."

The store owner says: "Maybe so, but it will give you the best blowjob you ever had."

So the guy tries it and it's fantastic. He buys the hamster and heads home.

When he gets there his wife sees the ugly little creature and says: "What the hell is that?"

The guy says: "Never mind. Just teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."