A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, they headed to her house for an afternoon of fun. Exhausted after screwin' around, they fell asleep and didn't wake up until 8pm.
As the man threw on his clothes, he told his mistress to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. Mystified, she did as he said and when she came back in he slipped them on and raced home.
At the front door his wife confronted him. "Where have you been?" she demanded. "Darling," he replied, "I cannot tell a lie. I've been having an affair with my secretary. We fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife looked down at his shoes and shouted, "Liar! You've been playing golf!"
Joe gets a ticket to the Super Bowl from his company, but when he gets there, the seat is in the last row way back in the corner of the stadium.
Halfway through the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat ten rows off the field, right on the fifty-yard line. He decides to take a chance, and makes his way around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sits down, Joe says to the guy sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anybody sitting here?"
The guy says, "No."
Joe says, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl and not use it?"
The guy says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't seen together since we got married in 1967."
Joe says, "That's really sad. But couldn't you find anyone to take the seat? A friend, or a close relative?"
The guy says, "No, they're all at the funeral."
What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend?