Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer?

A fuckin know-it-all!

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves! 

Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.

Two guys trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it's supposed to go. The first guy says, "Why don't you go over and ask if we play through?"

The second guy gets about halfway there and comes back. The first guy says, "What's wrong?" His buddy says, "One of them is my wife, and the other one is my mistress." The first guy says, "That could be a problem. I'll go over."

He gets about halfway there and comes back. The second guy says, "What's wrong?"

The first guy says, "Small world."

How do you turn a fox into a cow?

Marry her.