Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Why'd my wife cross the road?
To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.

Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."

Mom: "Did someone harass you?"

"Finally!"

Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."

Artist: "Great."

"Not really, he was your doctor."

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On our honeymoon night I asked my bride, "Honey... am I the first?"

She replied, "Why does everybody ask that?"

And that's when the fight started...

Why do women wear black underwear?

They're in mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.

A doctor examining a little old man tells him, "You're suffering from exhaustion. How often do you have sex?"

The old guy says, "Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."

The doc says, "Well, that could be the problem. Maybe you should try eliminating Wednesdays."

The old guy replies, "I can't, Doc. That's the only night I go home."

Not Like The Chicken