Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Why'd my wife cross the road?
To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.

Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."

Mom: "Did someone harass you?"

"Finally!"

Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."

Artist: "Great."

"Not really, he was your doctor."

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Sex is like math. Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, & pray you don't multiply.

And if your partner is really good she'll have no problem finding the root!

A woman asks the pharmacist if he carries extra-large condoms. The pharmacist replies, "Yes, would you like to buy some?"

The woman says, "No, but do you mind if I stand here and wait for the next guy that buys a box?"

The teacher asked Little Johnny, "Why is your cat at school today Johnny?"

Johnny replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Johnny leaves for school!'"

Not Like The Chicken