A guy is just miserable. So he decides to cheer himself up and get a pet. At the pet store the owner takes him in to the back and shows him a toothless hamster.
The guy looks at it and says: "That's the ugliest thing I ever saw."
The store owner says: "Maybe so, but it will give you the best blowjob you ever had."
So the guy tries it and it's fantastic. He buys the hamster and heads home.
When he gets there his wife sees the ugly little creature and says: "What the hell is that?"
The guy says: "Never mind. Just teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."
A woman is in her doctor's office, when she suddenly shouts out, "Doctor, kiss me". The Doctor looks at her and says that it would be against his code of ethics to kiss her.
About 20 minutes later the woman again shouts out "Doctor, please, kiss me just once". Again he refuses, apologetically, but says that as a doctor he simply cannot kiss her.
Finally another 15 minutes pass, and the woman pleads with the doctor, "Doctor, Doctor, please kiss me just once!!"
"Look" he says, "I'm sorry. I just CANNOT kiss you. In fact, I probably shouldn't even be screwing you either."
