Why'd my wife cross the road?To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No. They're dead."
My wife remarked: "That Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. If I ever got it I think I'd shoot myself"
I replied: "You said that five minutes ago."
And that's when the fight started....
Chinese couple in bed: Husband says, "I want a 69."
Wife says, "Why you want beef & broccoli now?"
