Why do women wear black underwear?
They're in mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.
Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)
What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.
What... you didn't see that coming?
Many people have been asking who I'm voting for in the next election. My answer:
"To tell you the truth, I'm never voting again...Because voting is like marriage, no matter who you choose, it turns out bad."
