Why do women wear black underwear?
They're in mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.
Why were there only two pallbearers at the homeless guy's funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can.
I was walking in the park the other day with my wife when she pointed to a young couple sitting on a bench, passionately kissing. "Why don't you do that?" she asked.
"Honey," I replied, "I don't even know that woman!"
And that's when the fight started...
Old Dick Johnson has some big plans for today, I'm gonna spend Valentines day with my ex...... box 360.
