Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

What'd the bi-polar write on the picture postcard?

"Having a wonderful time. Wish I were dead."

Girl texts: "If you're sleeping, send your dreams ... if you're laughing, send your smile."

Boyfriend texts back: "Taking a shit... Please advise."

What's better than being a historic pioneer of women's rights?

Being a man.

Page 140 of 149

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girlfriend.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. What I really wanted was a girl with a zest for life.

When I was 19, I found a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. So I looked for a girl with some stability.

When I was 25, I found a stable girl, but she was too boring. What i needed was a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but she lacked direction and was too petty. I thought I'd be better off with a girl with some ambition.

When I was 31, I found an ambitious girl. Yeah... she was so ambitious that she married me, divorced me, and took everything I owned.

Now I am 40, and all I want is a girl with big tits!

I have a a real problem with sex and booze...

Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.

I just joined a brand new 13-step treatment program. I'm still on step 1 - becoming an alcoholic.

Vacation Postcard