I just joined a brand new 13-step treatment program. I'm still on step 1 - becoming an alcoholic.
My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."
So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."
And that's when the fight started...
What can a goose do, a duck can't, and your lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
I told my pal: "I got a brand new digital hearing aid, $10,000!" "What kind is it?" he asked.
"Six-thirty."
