I just joined a brand new 13-step treatment program. I'm still on step 1 - becoming an alcoholic.
Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
It helps them remember which end to wipe...
Bad things come in three's. Always in three's.
The other day I was screwing my girlfriend while her husband was on a business trip. First she said three words: "Is it in?"
Then she followed that with: "Are you done?"
And finally I heard the front door open and a man's voice shout out: "Honey, I'm home!"
My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.
