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PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Black Friday

Created: 28 November 2014
Hits: 2529

A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS.

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES.

The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea.

He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop, it read: MAIN ENTRANCE.

Thanksgiving Day Football

Created: 27 November 2014
Hits: 2259

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

All Alone On Thanksgiving

Created: 27 November 2014
Hits: 2624

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.

“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

What's Not For Breakfast

What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?

You can't get either of them at home.

Please Don't Disturb The Peace

A guy goes in to see an optometrist.

The doctor says, "You have to stop masturbating."

The guy says, "Why? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

What's For Dinner?

Why'd the bride slide down the bannister on her honeymoon?

To warm up her husband's dinner.

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