What'd the bi-polar write on the picture postcard?
"Having a wonderful time. Wish I were dead."
I thought I would kid my wife a little, so I said: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, it's too long."
She shot back: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."
And that's when the fight started...
Why is a woman like the lunch special at Kentucky Fried Chicken?
By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Wife: "Will you love me when I'm old and fat?"
Husband: "I do."