When her car conks out the old lady pushes it into a gas station. Soon the mechanic has it purring like a kitten. The old gal asks: "What's up?" He tells her: "Crap in the carburetor." She says: "How often do I have to do that?"
Two rednecks are out fishing. The first one asks: "If I go to your house and fuck your wife and get her pregnant and she has a kid, would that make us kinfolk?"
The friend says: "Nope. That'd make us about even."
