A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

It's Been Said

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It's been said if you bend over & put your ear to someone's leg you can hear "What the fuck are you doing?"

My Last Gig

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You know old Dick tries to stay pretty busy. Last week I did a benefit for the "Tempura House"... that's a shelter for lightly battered women.

Pulled Over For A Reason

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A cop pulls a guy over and gives him the breathalyzer test.

The cop is so shocked he says: "Jesus man... you are REALLY drunk."

The guy looks up and says; "Thank God. I thought my steering went out."

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Rodeo Sex

How to have rodeo sex: Flip her over on all fours, start bangin' her doggie style, call her by her sister's name, and try to hang on for 8 seconds.

Going Big? Go Home!

My wife sidled up to me last night and asked: "Would you like a little pussy?"

I said: "I sure would, 'cause yours is as big as a house!"

And that's when the fight started...

Going Down?

I think I got beat up pretty bad last night. I remember getting on the elevator at my office and running into this gorgeous secretary with big tits. I couldn't help staring at her while the elevator door closed, but didn't start up. She said: "Would you please press one?"

So I did. I don't remember much after that...