What's better than being a historic pioneer of women's rights?
Being a man.
Nursing homes now give Viagra to the old guys living there.
Keeps them from rolling out of bed.
How do you get your wife to stop sucking her thumb?
Draw a dick on it.
My wife and I were basking in the afterglow of having sex when she asked: "Honey, why did God create orgasms?"
I said: "So women can moan even when they’re happy."
And that's when the fight started...