A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Always Bet On Black

Hits: 2569

What do you call a black man who flies a plane?

A pilot you racist bastard.

Probably Better To Believe In Santa

Hits: 2268

You know what happens when you stop believing in Santa Claus?

You start getting clothes for Christmas.

Until I Met A Boy Who Had No Hands

Hits: 2165

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves! 

Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.

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Researchers Have Discovered

Researchers have determined that 99% of all men jerk off in the shower and the other 1% sing.

Do you know what they sing?

I didn't think you did.

The Special Key

Three girls died and went before the pearly gates where St. Peter and his angel stopped them. St. Peter said: "Before entering heaven you must answer a simple question - have you been a good girl?"

The first girl replied: "Oh yes. I was a virgin before I got married and was still a virgin even after I got married." "Very good", said St.Peter, "Angel, give this girl... the golden key"

The second girl answered: "Oh, quite good. I was a virgin before I got married but not after." "Also very good", said St.Peter, "Angel, for this girl give her the silver key"

Finally St. Peter turns to the third girl and asks: "Have you been a good girl?" She answered: "Oh no, not at all. I practically screwed every guy I met, before, and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime, any position.

"Hmmm... I see", said St.Peter, "Angel, give this girl my room key!"

Notes From My Course In Business School

Here is all you need to know about marketing:

You spot a hot chick at a party. You go up to her and say, "I’m fantastic in bed." That’s called Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and you spot a hot chick. Have one of your buddies go up to her, point over to you and say, "He’s fantastic in bed." That’s called Advertising.

You spot a hot chick at a party. You get her phone number, call her up the next day and say, "Hi, I’m fantastic in bed." We'll call that Telemarketing.

You’re at a party when you spot a hot chick. You get up, straighten your tie, walk over to her and bring her a drink. You compliment her on how she's dressed. Be sure to open the door for her, pick up her purse if she drops it and even offer her a ride later. Then you say to her, "By the way, I’m fantastic in bed." You got it - Public Relations.

Finally, you’re at a party and spot a hot chick. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you’re fantastic in bed." Now that’s Brand Recognition.