A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Always Bet On Black

Hits: 3166

What do you call a black man who flies a plane?

A pilot you racist bastard.

Probably Better To Believe In Santa

Hits: 2869

You know what happens when you stop believing in Santa Claus?

You start getting clothes for Christmas.

Until I Met A Boy Who Had No Hands

Hits: 2751

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves! 

Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Sausage Without Mustard?

Bill and Ted, decide they want to go out and get wasted, but after counting all their money, they realise they only have about ten bucks between them. So Ted gets an idea. They head over to a local butcher and Ted tells Bill to wait outside. Ted comes out a few minutes later with a foot long sausage. Bill reminds his buddy they want to get wasted, not eat.

Ted assures him not to worry, "We'll hit a bar and drink them dry. Then, when we're ready to leave, I'll have the sausage in my pants, and you start sucking on it. They won't even think about asking for money." Sure enough, after a bunch of drinks at the first bar, Bill goes down on Ted and the bouncer immediately kicks them out. Ted tells Bill, "See, I told you this would work. Let's hit another." This goes on for 3 more bars.

As they are about to stumble into the next one, Bill turns to Ted and says, "Hey... Can I have the sausage this time? My neck is killing me." Ted replies, "What sausage? I got hungry 2 bars back."

Out For A Drive

"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

Hang On Tight

Little Johnny was passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peaks in and catches mommy and daddy in the act. Before daddy can even react, Little Johnny exclaims, "Oh boy! Horsey ride! Daddy, can I ride your back?"

Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees...

Johnny hops on daddy and daddy gets back to businessn... pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping... Johnny cries out, "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the mailman usually get bucked off."