Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets?

A woman.

What's the difference between pussy & pot?

If you can smell pot from across the room it's the good stuff.

What's the difference between the lesbians in porn films and a lesbian in real life?

About 65 pounds.

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What'd the bi-polar write on the picture postcard?

"Having a wonderful time. Wish I were dead."

What'd the Polish guy say when he came home and found his best friend on top of his wife?

Down, Fido, down boy!

Wife walks into the kitchen and finds her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asks. "Hunting flies," he tells her.

"Oh, kill any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," was his reply. Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell?"

"Easy," he says. "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

Don't Need A Forklift For This One