A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

The Down Under

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How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.

Needs More Duct Tape

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What's the best thing about duct tape?

It turns, "No! No!," into "Mmm! Mmm!"

Pizza Has Arrived, Finally

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What's the difference between a musician and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Salad

What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?

Seizure Salad.

Safety in the Kitchen

Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The fireman giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked: "Does anyone know what this is?"

Little Johnny's hand shot up and he said: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"

What To Do When The Car Is At The Mechanic

It's a really hot day, and a penguin takes his car to a mechanic. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there, he climbs inside the big freezer to sit and eat his ice cream. An hour goes by when the penguin looks at his watch, jumps out of the freezer and races back to the mechanic.

With ice cream all over his face and his stomach, he asks, "So how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, I was just eating ice cream."