Probably Better To Believe In Santa

You know what happens when you stop believing in Santa Claus?

You start getting clothes for Christmas.

I overheard my girlfriend on the phone say to her friend she wants to get engaged on Valentine's Day.

Hope she finds someone nice.

Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.

My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.