Just Plain Funny
Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!
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A man walks into a bar and asks for rum and coke. The bartender hands him an apple. The man, surprised, takes a bite of the apple and it tastes just like rum.
The bartender says, "Turn it around!" The man takes a bite and says, "Wow, and that's coke!"
Another man walks in and orders gin and tonic. The bartender hands him an apple and tells him to take a bite. The man is surprised to taste tonic. The bartender tells him to flip it around and sure enough he tastes gin.
A third man comes into the bar and the other two guys excitedly tell him about the apples, "You can order anything you want and the bartender will give you an apple that tastes just like it!"
The new guy, not believing a word, says, "Oh yeah? Give me an apple that tastes like pussy." The bartender hands him an apple and the man takes a bite. He immediately spits it out and yells, "That tastes like shit!"
The bartender says, "Turn it around."
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A man and a woman, who are both married to other people, arrive at a hotel at the same time. The clerk tells them there is only one room left... And after an awkward moment they both agree to share it. Although they feel weird at first, they both manage to fall asleep in their separate beds.
After a few hours of sleeping, the man wakes the woman up and asks her, "Could you grab me another blanket from the closet? I'm really cold."
The woman responds, "Or we could just pretend to be married for the night?"
The man replies, "That would be amazing."
The woman smiles and says, "Okay. Get your own fucking blanket!"
- Hits: 2555
A plane is about to crash. A woman stands up and yells, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Who's going to be man enough to do it?"
A large man stands up and rips his shirt off, "Here! Iron this!"