Some Bad News

: Created: 07 July 2017; Hits: 2714

Cop at door "Looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"

"Yeah but she's a nice person & good with the kids"

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More Sh*t

What's brown and sits on a piano bench?

Beethoven's First Movement.

Never Take Candy From A Stranger

A guy pulls up to a little girl playing on the sidewalk and says, "Hey, little girl, want a lollipop?"

The girls says "My mommy told me not to take candy from strangers. But if you give me twenty bucks, I'll suck your dick."

Don't Give Me No Lip

My wife bought one of those do-it-yourself waxing kits. Really wanting to please me, she asked with a wink: "Should I do the sides and leave a little strip down the middle?"

I told her: "I'd prefer you have no moustache at all."

And that's when the fight started...