Cop at door "Looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"
"Yeah but she's a nice person & good with the kids"
What's the best thing about dating homeless chicks?
You can drop them off anywhere.
Old Dick is no dope. Here's a piece of advice you should always follow: Whenever you have a one night stand, always use protection -- a fake name and a fake number.
One night while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep my wife asked me a real stupid question: "Honey, why do you think god gave men a dick?"
I opened one eye and told her: "So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up!"
And that;s when the fight started...