Some Bad News

Cop at door "Looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"

"Yeah but she's a nice person & good with the kids"

Why are black guys dicks bigger than white guys?

Because as kids white guys had toys to play with!

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look way better at night than any jar of cold cream.

And that's when the fight started...

A guy visits a psychiatrist and lies on the couch. The doc asks: "What's your problem?"

The guy tells him, "Doc, I can't seem to make any friends. Can you help me, you fat fuck?"